View topic - "It's Friday Night at FD" :: Free Dominion - Principled Conservative - Party and Canadian Politics

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 1:47 pm Post subject:

As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - and then carefully note their reaction:

"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!"

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.
_________________
FREE DOMINION FORUM RULES
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope ~ Sir Winston Churchill
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people''''s money." Margaret Thatcher

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 2:56 pm Post subject:

Why marry a man???

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it...
Then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long as and wherever you want .
Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies .
Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually.....
Then buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...

Then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was going to say....then marry a man!

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 6:13 pm Post subject:

I like cats
_________________
Opinions posted on Free Dominion are those of the individual posters and are not necessarily the opinion of Free Dominion or its operators. Free Dominion does not advocate violence, hate speech or an overthrow of the government.

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 7:52 pm Post subject:

Heard today on ZED FM - Rockin' You from the Badlands to the Rockies

You know you've checked into the Eckville Hotel when you call the front desk to tell them you've got a leak in the sink... and they tell you to go ahead.
_________________
MORE ALBERTA.

Less Ottawa.
Opinions expressed by RedDog on Free Dominion are those of RedDog alone and are in no way intended to represent the views of Free Dominion, its principals or moderators.
"If it wasn''t for pizza and other fine Italian foods there would be no happiness" John Goodman

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 8:57 pm Post subject:

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up." The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide.

They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"!

This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window "Green side up." What on earth does that mean?"

The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying sod across the street."

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 8:59 pm Post subject:

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.

The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 9:06 pm Post subject:

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful so she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes.

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 9:13 pm Post subject:

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

Posted: 07/ 13/ 07 11:20 pm Post subject:

Posted: 07/ 14/ 07 2:42 pm Post subject:

Not all is well in Zamunda. Remeber the cool
film Comming to America?
It seems the king wasn't such a nice guy...

http://www.totallycrap.com/comments/was_price_akeem_a_political_refuge/
_________________
The opinions expressed by the above poster are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the forum's moderators or owners. Questions and comments can be sent to the boy on the left.

Posted: 07/ 19/ 07 8:59 pm Post subject:

Yes I know it's not Friday but we need a pick me up Very Happy

Canadian Eh!

A recent study found the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be Canadian Eh!.
_________________
FREE DOMINION FORUM RULES
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope ~ Sir Winston Churchill
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people''''s money." Margaret Thatcher

Posted: 07/ 20/ 07 8:31 pm Post subject:

IT'S

_________________
FREE DOMINION FORUM RULES
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope ~ Sir Winston Churchill
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people''''s money." Margaret Thatcher

Posted: 07/ 20/ 07 8:37 pm Post subject:

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED IT....

A J.B. "CLASSIC"...

Posted: 07/ 20/ 07 8:44 pm Post subject:

Funny Cat Story

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve party.

We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. we phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and we opened the door to leave the house. the cat we had put out in the backyard scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife went out to the taxi while I went inside to get the cat. the cat ran upstairs with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night...so, she explained to the driver that I would be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I got into the cab "Sorry I took so long," I said as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me, but it worked...I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out in the backyard!"

The driver hit a parked car... You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...
_________________
FREE DOMINION FORUM RULES
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope ~ Sir Winston Churchill
"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people''''s money." Margaret Thatcher

Posted: 07/ 21/ 07 1:14 am Post subject:

BWAHAHA!!! Take that, Saskatchewan.

Esks 21
Riders 20

\W0000T!!!
_________________
The cause of liberty becomes a mockery if the price to be paid is the wholesale destruction of those who are to enjoy liberty.

	The time now is 09/ 02/ 10 3:51 pm
	Home ∴ Forum ∴ Recent ∴ Register ∴ Profile ∴ Log in to check your private messages ∴ Log in FAQ ∴ Search ∴ Donate ∴ Activist's Toolbox ∴ FD Links ∴ FD Swag [ Login to join chat ] FD Arcade - Click Here-->