"Letters to Miss Emily..."

[backhoe]

Mary, dammit... slaps head to jar brain into gear. In "minor annoyances?" Got a postcard reminder from the dentist's office to call & confirm my cleaning appointment. It is postmarked Jacksonville. So it went from Madray's to downtown. From there to Jax. From Jax back to here. Then it came to the South End, roughly 10 blocks from the PO. If they'd quit doing things like that and can the junk mail they actually might not need subsidies.

[backhoe]

Well- Sasha is back. Kind of a surprise, like Winnie ther Poo's gorse-bush.

Surprise aside it's OK- except for the hole-digging & barking. OTOH she's more likely to keep the cat-trapper at bay than Cole with his sweet "love everybody" ways.

Good thing I didn't change the sheet yet.

[backhoe]

In from another night at the box. Ugly cold outside and me on the bus. Yuck. They're projecting somewhere between -33 and -40 for Christmas day. That certainly wipes out skating and tobogganing for people.

I had lunch at 3 in the morning with Mandy® again. I love her swagger. Watching her walk from somewhere behind is mesmerizing. It's a hip swaying sashay almost in slow motion. Also got a message for (Far too) Young Thing Samantha™ wondering when our paths will cross. It looks like Friday night. No word from Hot (too) Young Thing® Nichole.

Edit: Just got a text from Nichole.

Mercy, you and the Wymmin. They surely add a nice dimension to living, though. I will freely admit being a Dirty Old Dog ( always have been. ) who loves the way they move and talk and think.

I was warm when I got out of bed and have been cold all day- sure don't envy your weather.

[RedDog]

In from another night at the box. Ugly cold outside and me on the bus. Yuck. They're projecting somewhere between -33 and -40 for Christmas day. That certainly wipes out skating and tobogganing for people.

I had lunch at 3 in the morning with Mandy® again. I love her swagger. Watching her walk from somewhere behind is mesmerizing. It's a hip swaying sashay almost in slow motion. Also got a message for (Far too) Young Thing Samantha™ wondering when our paths will cross. It looks like Friday night. No word from Hot (too) Young Thing® Nichole.

Edit: Just got a text from Nichole.

Mercy, you and the Wymmin. They surely add a nice dimension to living, though. I will freely admit being a Dirty Old Dog ( always have been. ) who loves the way they move and talk and think.

I was warm when I got out of bed and have been cold all day- sure don't envy your weather.

Haha. I heard from Shayla as well. She just texted and Facebook PM'd to confirm all works. She had lost her phone and is back in the fold with a new one. The fabulous RedDogHarem® line-up is complete and all accounted for once again.

Interesting side note - At lunch I asked Mandy® when she worked and this was her reply: "I have the same schedule you do right through until Christmas". It having not been discussed, she could only possibly know my schedule if she went in the back hall and selected the binder of computer printouts by department and looked up my name. She had confirmed the spelling of my first name the previous night, it being spelled slightly different from the more common version of course. So she went out of her way to check when I'd be around. Technically, I could do the same of say Nichole or Samantha or anyone else there but that's a bit creepy for a guy my age with respect to females their ages, especially when we openly exchange that information in texts anyway and always know when our paths will cross. Mandy letting slip that she was checking out my time window. hmmmm I didn't let on that I took note of how she could possibly know that. I just replied, "oh great then".

[backhoe]

In from another night at the box. Ugly cold outside and me on the bus. Yuck. They're projecting somewhere between -33 and -40 for Christmas day. That certainly wipes out skating and tobogganing for people.

I had lunch at 3 in the morning with Mandy® again. I love her swagger. Watching her walk from somewhere behind is mesmerizing. It's a hip swaying sashay almost in slow motion. Also got a message for (Far too) Young Thing Samantha™ wondering when our paths will cross. It looks like Friday night. No word from Hot (too) Young Thing® Nichole.

Edit: Just got a text from Nichole.

Mercy, you and the Wymmin. They surely add a nice dimension to living, though. I will freely admit being a Dirty Old Dog ( always have been. ) who loves the way they move and talk and think.

I was warm when I got out of bed and have been cold all day- sure don't envy your weather.

Haha. I heard from Shayla as well. She just texted and Facebook PM'd to confirm all works. She had lost her phone and is back in the fold with a new one. The fabulous RedDogHarem® line-up is complete and all accounted for once again.

Interesting side note - At lunch I asked Mandy® when she worked and this was her reply: "I have the same schedule you do right through until Christmas". It having not been discussed, she could only possibly know my schedule if she went in the back hall and selected the binder of computer printouts by department and looked up my name. She had confirmed the spelling of my first name the previous night, it being spelled slightly different from the more common version of course. So she went out of her way to check when I'd be around. Technically, I could do the same of say Nichole or Samantha or anyone else there but that's a bit creepy for a guy my age with respect to females their ages, especially when we openly exchange that information in texts anyway and always know when our paths will cross. Mandy letting slip that she was checking out my time window. hmmmm I didn't let on that I took note of how she could possibly know that. I just replied, "oh great then".

I think you have the etiquette right ( Not that you should take much advice from an old Pirate... ) their checking you is fine, your checking them is not. "The woman(s) sets the limits" as Dear Abby once said.

Got a yet unread email from the Mystic Island... let me add this & be back soon:

Blasting the bonds of conformity, or the blasted bonds of conformity, or something like that.
( Editorial note- Amy just called and wanted to drop by which is fine. Dang house is becoming like a train station... she came for a while & now she's gone again. )

A discussion at Ace's place got me thinking about pizza. I pondered getting one at Walgreen’s- they are decent but a little too loaded with members of the vegetable kingdom for me to really love them.

Thought about getting ingredients at Winn-Dixie for a homemade pizza but once again The Creepy Guy Taint was off-putting. I finally ordered a takeout from Fox. The Kids & I gathered 'round the heater in the kitchen and ate. It was “mighty fine,” and I can get several meals from even the small one I got.

-30-

[backhoe]

MaryAnn's Mom checks out OK at the hospital so she is quite relieved. But she's still waiting for the gas to get turned on- it's 3 PM here and they scheduled her from noon to four. She is warm enough so I'll try to quit "Mother Henning" her. It's very hard to do because I did it for both wives all those years.

[backhoe]

A 4:28 email says the heat's back on- Yay! MaryAnn. She still has coons & is worried they'll kill her cats so I offered to bring my big new trap over tomorrow- nothing has been caught here so who knows what Cole was going crackers over- it's not anything that likes ears of corn.

[RedDog]

Coons and cats. I don't know the fight pecking order there. I've never seen a raccoon here but just assumed they must be around. (?) I know the cat of ours growing up laid waste to a weasel in our garage in Connecticut. It also removed the ear from a German Sheppard who strayed into the yard. That cat was a machine of power but at our lake cottage in a sea of skunks was never once sprayed. Ever. The dogs around the bay took it like homos in a bathhouse but our cat was one sly operator and a born killer. Any skunk getting him would have been dead in a couple minutes for his trouble.

My mother called to announce she's getting me a new car for Christmas. The transmission issue and other nagging items on the Smart will see it retired. I'm to pick something and have her billed. Looking at Mazda Miatas. Gotta have a convertible now anymore and the 2 seat choices are limited. Gotta think Florida as well of course at this point in time. I may wind up with the only 2 seat ragtop in Florida with a block heater.

[WestViking]

. Gotta think Florida as well of course at this point in time. I may wind up with the only 2 seat ragtop in Florida with a block heater.

Commonly known as toque!

[RedDog]

. Gotta think Florida as well of course at this point in time. I may wind up with the only 2 seat ragtop in Florida with a block heater.

Commonly known as toque!

Haha. I like that Honda CR-Z 2 seat hybrid as well but a lot of coin for 2 seats and a fixed roof. There's a new Honda Civic Sedan on the street and that's a beautiful car as well with great mileage. At least there's a sunroof option. This is likely to be the last car I own when running 5K-8K a year. There are currently 3 warning lights on the Smart with an automated manual or paddle shift transmission which won't "reboot" and the start up oxygen blower enviro cleaner (runs about 45 seconds) has also failed. The tire pressure monitor system is also on the fritz again. The local Euro shop figures $3K to $4K total. (17 warning lights in 18 months vs. ZERO in life prior)

http://www.honda.ca/crz

[backhoe]

Coons and cats. I don't know the fight pecking order there. I've never seen a raccoon here but just assumed they must be around. (?) I know the cat of ours growing up laid waste to a weasel in our garage in Connecticut. It also removed the ear from a German Sheppard who strayed into the yard. That cAat was a machine of power but at our lake cottage in a sea of skunks was nevAer once sprayed. Ever. The dogs around the bay took it like homos in a bathhouse but our cat was one sly operator and a born killer. Any skunk getting him would have been dead in a couple minutes for his trouble.

My mother called to announce she's getting me a new car for Christmas. The transmission issue and other nagging items on the Smart will see it retired. I'm to pick something and have her billed. Looking at Mazda Miatas. Gotta have a convertible now anymore and the 2 seat choices are limited. Gotta think Florida as well of course at this point in time. I may wind up with the only 2 seat ragtop in Florida with a block heater.

Mazda's are good cars-- the RX-7 I paid cash for served Miss Emily well-- until it got T-boned crashed at Gloucester & Union back in 1996... it's funny in a very ironic way how most of Emily's problems stemmed from there.

The one X-Ray they showed me? Calcium spikes like daggers pointing at her spinal cord. At C-5... the same level Helen's neck was broken at...

Yes, the ironies abound- Emily was very much aware how if she turned into a quadriplegic or hemiplegic or Dead Wife like Helen was how much like her she would be... so she consented to the surgery that essentially broke her neck and spliced it back together again.

She was never the same after that. I blundered thru it as best I could. Don't jostle her for a year?

( Bluntly speaking? No sex- help her get around. To the bathroom & back. Later, to work & back. No, I really did not mind all of that. Helen was My Own True Love- yep, God's Own Hand that came down from the sky and shook me so very long ago...

My Miss Emily? She was my Very Best Friend. We were Pals. Really- we did go “boppin' down the street together,” elbowing each other when we saw a pretty member of the opposite sex and whispering “Hey, would you $#@! him?” And yes, we got crude & honest answers. We were pals. I sure miss that... )

It's so easy to describe how things are when they happen to you- you look back and “the words get in the way...”

I loved Emily. So tall and slender. So strong. She had a million strengths... and shore enough a million faults.

I can't say where this “thing” with Miss MaryAnn will lead or go to. I just know? I like her. Isn't that horrid? Another man's wife? Except? Death cancels the contract. Viking tells me I need to start courting her. And I guess he's right but I never did get that “courtship” business down very well.

Helen? I just laid a kiss on, naturally, when all the other guys taking her out were afraid to do it. After that? She was mine.

Emily? I liked her face. Simple as that. Went to her store. Went to her house. Ended up in her bed. There was a lot between “marry & bury” but you know what? I really did like her. A lot.

1984. “The year of living dangerously...”

Lawsuits & lovers... learned how to drive & shoot & set demolition charges. Went into the field. Yes, I did Spookwork. And yes, I was very good at it. Nearly 30 years ago.

Life? Has a rhythm & a heartbeat of its own. A great bell, tolling in the distance.

The silence when Helen quit breathing told me she had died. The CPR? The week she laid in a coma? All just “details...”

The date she really died? February 24, 1982. Her 36th birthday. Her official date of death? March 1 of that year when I shut the life support off and held my life and my love until she died...

...then I strode out into a “brave new world” that was not of my liking or making.

For a while I held Miss Emily. You do know what woke me, don't you?? Yes, my story is Cole's muzzle poking me awake and leading me to his “mommy's” cold & purple corpse on the toilet...

But what really woke me was?

The silence. The utter silence a house makes when one of the two dies.

I have... seen so many things I wish I could unsee. The eyeballs on the windshield are the least of them.

CCL™ can be translated into cute or crazy... I suspect the wagging tongues on the Island lean to the latter. Me? The first. I've never cared what people said about me & mine anyway.

I think I love her. Yes, just a little. It hasn't reached the go crazy, roll around & fall asleep together stage and it may not. That's up to her. But I do like her. A lot.

“See where it goes...”

-30-

Plain truth. Don't like it? Don't read it. Helen was a bolt of Fire. Emily? Wind... MaryAnn? Can't say yet. Might be nothing... might be Earth, or The Sea.

“Sea where it goes...”

[RedDog]

I agree with WV but courting comes with costs of course and I know you're watching your pennies like we all are. I say again... Get a blanket. Prepare a picnic lunch of some nice deli cold cuts and good ingredients in the area of bread, vegetables and condiments. Some fruit. Maybe some wine she might like. Kidnap her to a suitable quiet beach setting and lay out a nice spread to leave an impression. Everything mentioned would be less than lunch for two here at Wendy's. Take the pooch to frolic in the surf and relax in the sun with no place to be in any hurry. Tell her she's a prisoner and you are flogging the law with aplomb in your criminal ways and there's nothing whatsoever she can do about it.

[backhoe]

I agree with WV but courting comes with costs of course and I know you're watching your pennies like we all are. I say again... Get a blanket. Prepare a picnic lunch of some nice deli cold cuts and good ingredients in the area of bread, vegetables and condiments. Some fruit. Maybe some wine she might like. Kidnap her to a suitable quiet beach setting and lay out a nice spread to leave an impression. Everything mentioned would be less than lunch for two here at Wendy's. Take the pooch to frolic in the surf and relax in the sun with no place to be in any hurry. Tell her she's a prisoner and you are flogging the law with aplomb in your criminal ways and there's nothing whatsoever she can do about it.

Laughing my ass off- you & Viking actually have pretty good advice- just remember I never did the dating thing and kind of blundered in to two marriages while I was doing other things...

Right now I'm sitting on a heated bed with two dogs- Emily's little creampuff Cole by my side and Sasha- who is as strong as an athletic grown man- by my feet.

Will the Cute Cat Lady...

( "She's nothing but trouble!... OMG, what a fine Catch she'd be... )
and the old part-Injun Pirate
( "He killed all his Wymmin! He rode motorcycles! He's nothing but Trouble! )

... get together? Who can say?

But you know what? For the first time in a long while I actually am enjoying life again. Seriously, I don't say things I don't mean and I know CCL may see them here. I do love her a little. Might mean something, might lead somewhere. Might not. It's all good.

We? Will see where it leads.

[backhoe]

Once in a great long while the words just come together:

“A great bell, tolling in the distance.

Life? Has a rhythm & a heartbeat of its own. A great bell, tolling in the distance.”

Or so it seems to me.

For a while I rode the thunder with a tall and beautiful red-headed wench
( And yes, she was a blue-blood by local standards. Know what? None of that Old South nonsense meant or means a thing to me. Helen was a fine woman in her own right. That is all that mattered...)
who liked trashy novels. Yes, bodice-rippers. Six-pack abs & heaving bosoms. Honey, I loved you but for an allegedly highbrow woman you could be so common. Or maybe that was another reason I loved you- you could be a lady or a little minx...

For a while I rode the wind with a tall & blonde Aryan Superwoman. She was? Very fine, indeed. I've given you a few words or thousands and I still can't sum up 25 years of “driving Miss Emily.” But love her I did. Miss her? Sure do.

Can't say what the future holds. Probably rather not know. Life takes you down strange paths you never planned and in all your planning never could guess. “Cast your Fate to the Wind....”

-30-

[backhoe]

Catch of the day, 12-20 afternoon edition...

The Kids & I screwed around house and yard until after lunch and with Sasha here I'm a little less concerned about being away longer than usual. In the department of irony? The special rat bait I got with that hi-tech trap? Seems to have been stolen- presumably by a rat. So Tractor Supply got on my list of stops.

Walgreen's was first for smokes and more paper plates & bowls for my thrill-a-minute widower “lifestyle.” It should be on Reality TV...

At Wal-Mart I didn't need to visit the Aisle of Vice but Miss Tijuana was on duty so I stopped by to wish her a Merry Christmas. I'll probably never have the opportunity to repay the kindness & consideration she showed me after Emily died but I am mindful of it.

I took a back route to TS- one I used to travel a lot getting takeouts for the “we” that is no more. I'll say one thing for one of MaryAnn's competitors, Don Wright- he's not afraid to raise his sign on all sorts or properties that aren't moving. They are everywhere.

Tractor Supply had restocked the big glue traps so I got a couple and upon returning home put one on the Seeburg jukebox that was one of Helen & mine's “first big gifts” to each other. The other trap went on a workbench on the far wall where I think they are getting in. My back is better but I'll give it a day or two before sealing that crack I noticed.

Feeding time at the Zoo approaches- Sasha just plopped down on the fresh sheet which already has muddy pawprints on it. Well, they love me- there is that...

-30-